Ungettable

It is a thing I can never get,
It is something I shouldn't want.
That it is not mine is sure,
That it is not supposed to be, obvious.

But today, I felt sad.
Felt bad to feel sad.
Sad because I did not get it.
Bad because it should't have mattered.

It was inconsequential,
or so I had thought.
But every time I see it,
it reminds me I am a failure.

A failure -
for hoping that in some world
I do not desire it,
as I do madly in this.

Or that in some world
it exists not, to be desired madly.
Or better still, that in some world,
I have it, to be owned, to get owned.

-TheDreamer