Sunday, 12 August 2012


Do you know the problem with afterthoughts?
They're always late.


A study shows that girls consider college canteens the second worst place for breakups. The first prize goes ofcourse to the internet. Guys who dump their girlfriends in such places are considered cheap, irresponsible and disrespectful. Considering a different study which showed that girls find changing their FB status to 'single' to be the easiest way out of a relationship made my situation outright hillarious.

But I am not laughing. I am too busy poking my plateful of noodles with a fork and trying to avoid the stare of the girl sitting across from me. She is my 5-month long girlfriend now. And yes, I am sitting at my college canteen. Who am I? I guess I am that cheap, irresponsible and disrespectful boyfriend I was telling you about. I'm not laughing because I'm supposed to be talking. And I'm not talking because she is staring. She ofcourse is staring because I am not talking, but that is immaterial right now. Besides, we are running around in circles. What is important is that I am not talking because I don't know what to say. I called her here to dump her. Now, I've already hinted at that. That is exactly what I have been doing for the past half an hour , while she has been silently eating her food and I have been toying with mine. When I finally asked her why she won't say anything, the lady hints that she wants me to speak it out loud. As in, put it in a proper sentence and present it to her. God knows what the world is coming to, with one human not being able to understand another without the use of shallow linguistic constructs!
I wonder why the hell did I think of even bringing this topic up?

Too late for that now.
I take a deep breath.
"I want to dump you..."
Shit. that didn't sound like I wanted it to.
"I mean... I want to end our relationship," I finished meekly.

Well done genius! Ten full minutes to contemplate whether or not to speak that sentence and then, not ever ten seconds of thought into what to actually say.

She kept looking straight at me, unreactive. I had a rapid vision of her slapping me. I cringed my face instinctively at that thought.

"Yeah. I want to too. And I don't think..."

I want to too? The slap was replaced by a vision of the canteen boy in a pink 
tutu, with his ever-soiled table wipe flung on his shoulder, performing a ballet in the centre of the canteen. I tried pushing that out of my head. So she has wanted to beak up too? 

Wait. When the hell did that happen?

How come I didn't know? Is she breaking up just because I am, or did she plan to do it all along? So she was going to dump me in the college canteen? How cheap, irresponsible and disrespectful of her. How dare she dump me. After all I'd done for her. How did she think, even for an instant, that I am not worthy of her. It is she who is not worthy of me.

"Good. It seems that we have an agreement then," she said.

Wait. What the hell did I just miss?

"Uh- what? What did you just say?"

She rolls her eyes. I hate it when she does that.

"I said, that I don't think we should talk anymore. Ever."

"What do you mean we can't talk? We are in the same class, you know? We have to talk some time."

She shook her head. I was not liking this.

"Umm... how about on the phone? Can I call you?"

Another shake of the head. I was not liking this one bit. What had I done to her? Why was she making such a big deal out of the breakup?

Last try - "SMS?"
Her patience apparently ended then. "No. No SMS, no calls, no talking whatsoever. I don't wanna ever talk to you again," she said with a lot of emotion.

I looked into those beautiful eyes. She obviously still felt for me. She said she didn't want to talk but she said that with difficulty. Was it possible this was as difficult for her as for me? I looked at that pretty face. It had just one expression - disappointment. She got up and stormed off. Her words rang in my ears. 'I don't wanna ever talk to you again.' That voice. Something that I'll miss. Something that I'll never hear again. A sea of memories came crashing down of me. Memories of all the times that I had spent with her. I should have said something to her. I should have defended myself harder. Should have told her what I really felt.

And what I really felt came flooding out from inside me. From my very depths, I replied to her, though she wasn't there to hear it. I said -- "Challenge Accepted!"


All was silent thereafter. Life seemed to have fallen silent along with her. And then, another afterthought --
Wait. What the f**k just happened?


  1. ha ha ha ha ....... well what i dont understand is that how can boys be so confused??... very well written... laughing a lot.... tooo good... poor girl but stupid and confused boy...

    1. Thnx Shreya.
      Guys generally are stupid n confused in dese matters. :)