Saturday, 14 July 2012


I saw Cocktail today with my family. First things first, to quench your curiosity, let me tell you that it is an entertaining movie made for college crowds and not bad for a one-time watch. The problem is its plot is way too familiar for regular Hindi movie and television serial watchers. It presents the same old Archie's Dilemma- a guy confused between the 'rich bitch' and the sweet girl, leading to a predictable love triangle with no new solution presented in the movie. This same predicament is represented in many other popular stories in different forms, be it Archie Andrews or Elena Gilbert. It is a classic dilemma- the dilemma between listening to what you desire and what is best for you. Do you choose the girl who is a better girlfriend or the one who will be a better wife? Do you listen to your heart or your mind? Do you go after what you like or after what is best for you? To you take up a profession which you are passionate about or a profession which will pay better?
The solution to this dilemma isn't very simple (that's why its called a dilemma) and is very much situation and person dependent. A pragmatist would preach that what is required is a balance between the two- between the Veronicas and Bettys of this world. Marry a girl that is rich and intelligent as well as beautiful and caring. Get a job that is your passion as well as high-paying. Interestingly, a Zen master would give you a different solution. He would ask you to remove the root cause of the dilemma. He'll tell you that your desires and your interests should not conflict at all to begin with. He'll say, remove thy conflict and thy dilemma shall vanish.

What do you usually do? Do you listen to your heart or my mind? Which is the fun thing to do? Which is the right thing to follow? Archie Dilemmas are common, we experience them everywhere. Our everyday problems are Archie Dilemmas in disguise and we need to solve them. So, do we listen to the pragmatist or the Zen master? Settle for a compromise between the two extremes or remove the conflict which made you like two extremes in the first place? That, my friends, is a question that  only you can answer for yourselves because, as always, we have landed ourselves into an Archie Dilemma.



  1. nice .............
    infact quite some questioons isn't it?

    let me add half an answer.:

    We leave in todays world and not in the past. Our actions and beliefs are governed by the society in which we live in, our beloveds...we are ready to compromise because of fear, ignorance and many petty little things.

    now look at my example. I had the chance to go to a football academy (Tata football academy). Football was my and still is my passion and infact everything. But i chose to take a different path. Why? Beloved's, Soceiety, pressure, and fear of the future. Whats thr in football? Yes there is nothing, but that was my heart. Unlike in the past, where everything laid low, every no matter which one u take, it hardly mattered most. People were themselves then,and listened to their heart... but now, all of us sometime or the other wear a mask, and our decisions are again the effect of societies's beliefs and all.
    we listen to our mind Dreamer....almost all the time.


  2. That is the dilemma...I would go with the pragmatist approach, settle down for something of both...Maybe that would be mistake but hey, its better to have decided on something than nothing at all...and then if you are happy in the end, the path hardly matters, but yes, stepping over someone else for your own dreams is not good. Dreams can give sleepless nights too...


  3. Dadu,
    good thoughts, we all come across such dilema in our life... but i feel what Natasha says is right... u always may not get the best of both worlds but hoping for that and trying to create a situation for urself which u always dreamt of and wished for can also be an option.

  4. Viento! Why emotion of love is ascribed to heart but emotions like fear, insecurity ascribed to brain..
    for me , the war is not between heart and brain..
    but it's between different emotions...

    ur brain had 2 decide which emotion to choose--
    what u r describing in ur answer is a conventional way of giving oneself a psychological cushion against one's guilt feeling of not having enuf guts to follow your dream!

    i guess complete answer itself requires ne blog 4m me--but before that vaibhav!how does zen master resolves the it lyk mystical philosophy which says don't hav any dersires-no desires-no conflict.. is it so?

  5. @PathFinder- I am not very sure what you wanted to say. Maybe you should write it up as a blog after all. The analogy of the heart and the mind is just that, an analogy. It represents the dilemma between what you desire and what is conventionally accepted as 'right' for you. For example, we chose a career in science. Many people told us that it is not a wise decision that maybe becoming an engineer is a better choice. But we ignored all that and decided to follow our passion, we listened to our 'heart'.

    Regarding the Zen Master's reply, he says there should be no conflict. That does not mean have no desires. That means that you should desire what is right for you and the only thing that should e right for you is what you desire. I should not land myself in a situation where I have diabetes and i desire sweets. Either I realize that my desire for sweets is wrong or not become diabetic in the first place.

    @Gaurav- I disagree with you. I we had all been following our brains, all our decisions in our lives would have been completely rational. But we still do irrational things.

    @Natasha & Shreya- The drawback with the Pragmatist's approach is that there might not always be a quickly available blend of both extremes. It takes hard work to find a job that is your passion and highly paying too (especially given the field that we are in).

    @All-Thanx for your comments :)

  6. I generally tend to follow the heart. I know it is a tough ask; as the society generally goes against you (as Viento said). But according to me, that is the real test of your love.

    If you really succumb to the society; it proves that your desire for your love love was not strong enough. And hence you did not love your love in the real sense.

    The Introvert